To Daddy #2

To Daddy, With Love

I just have one "small" thing to say

Vaccines CAN cause Autism!!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29160138

I have a huge erg to scream and rant and rave about this article. I'm trying to keep it under control. First off: Does ANYONE really expect a court to rule on the side of parents who could single handily bring down the largest form of income in the health care industry? Seriously. I don't.

2. Ask ANY parent who has had a child be fine one day and completely gone another. And then ASK THE PARENT what they did to get their kids back. You'll be floored.

3. I think this is a conspiracy. Honestly, I do.

4. I am pissed off, but realize it's a losing battle. I am happy in the fact that I can recover my son, and content with the fact that it takes so much time and money. I also understand the importance of telling parents to just do the research! Don't assume it's alright because everyone else does it. Actually take a look at the crap that's in the shots. It's discusting!

So there, I vented.

If off my soap box, for now.

~Hubby- Look for the video to be posted on here in a day or two. I love ya!

*Neither of these ladies are me, nor is this my Hubs ship.*

Early this morning my Husbands ship left Bremerton for 6 months. At least 6 months. I didn't cry, I got a little grumpy toward the last day, but no tears. I'm a little bummed, but not sad. Not depressed either. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, or overwhelmed with all of our "stuff" riding on my shoulders. I'm not questioning how we'll make it, or what if this or what if that. I'm not worried, about anything.

Well I wasn't. I got a call from a wife of one of the hubs people today around noon. After answering, she immediately asked how I was doing. I told her what I always tell everyone, a habit I guess; "I'm good....How are you?" She was surprised and questioned me again. "Yes, really, I'm just fine......" Then I thought to ask why....

Apparently there is a family support group melt down in progress. Some wives are not taking this in stride. They've called an emergency "social hour" to get together and co-grieve. ugh. Really? She asked me specifically if I would go, and I agreed. blah blah buddy system, blah blah support group, blah blah blah....

I'm going, because I told her I would. BUT- I'm just not sure this is for me. I went through the Oh my God what and I going to do without you phase when I was a young new wife. I cried about everything, worried myself sick, and became depressed. I've been there, and I know for certain it's not the end of the world now.......I've got my big girl pants on.

I do not in any way mean to sound condescending. I truly know what it's like to be in that position. The question is, since I'm in "recovery", do I want to go back and help others that are not as....hum.....okay as me. I do not want to be sucked in, or drained out. And I could possibly risk sounding rude, because the fact is that they are in the Navy, which means we are too. So....deal with it.

I took a shower after I got off the phone and was questioning myself on why I wasn't more on the emotional side of this. Why am I not torn up, or mopey? Then it hit me, I've graduated. I am out of that phase for good. Doesn't mean I won't have bad days and good days. But I know it won't be anything I can't handle on my own. I'll be alright.

And really, August isn't that far away......

wish me luck!

New stuff

Hi! My name is Christy and I'm addicted to Facebook, this is why I have been ignoring you. Sorry.

New stuff that has happened....

We are not going to get pregnant again. No more babies for us.
I must find a way to be "complete" without adding to the nest.
My husband leaves in early Jan for a 6 to 8 month deployment, which could possibly be followed up by a deployment to a really icky icky thought, and it starts with an I.
I voted for Obama, I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I crocheted a really cool orange and white blankie for my new neice in Texas. Why Orange? It's her Daddy's favorite color.
I can not believe Christmas is coming so fast!!! How did this happen?
I am getting a tattoo soon. Yay!
We got a new horse. His name is Jack, as in Jackpot, or in relation to the other horses, Jackass.
I am super duper frusterated with my daughters teacher. I've never been closer to homeschooling her than I was yesterday. The good news is that it seems that requesting a meeting with the Principal kinda gets the learning flowing. Please do not get me wrong, I LIKE her teacher, but there's a problem and my obligation is to my kid.
The Hubs dog, Cajun, nearly attacked him last night when I chocked on popcorn. Apparently the dog thought he had hurt me. Apparently he's more my dog than we both thought.
I have 6 chickens, and frequestly get 8 eggs a day. What's up with that?
I have a super secret girl crush on Rachel Maddow. ;)
that's enough for now I suppose. later.

LOVE THIS!!

Just incase you live on the North Pole and you haven't seen this; you must. Just click the link and make sure you don't have any liquids in your mouth that could possibly be projected onto the computer screen. (It was just water honey, and not very much at that)



Enjoy! and for the love of the future of America, please do whatever you can to insure she lands no where near the White House.

Alone again.....

HA, well not really. The Hub left at 4am and will be gone until Tday. I am not alone however, still plenty of activity around here to keep me busy.

I've also been awake since 4am. I tried to get back to sleep to no avail so I got up and actually think I might make rising early a habit. I was sitting here at the computer when the sky started to lighten up, and went out to my new porch swing (thanks mom) and enjoyed the fresh morning air and listened to the neighbors roosters. It was rather refreshing! While out there I made a mental list of all the things I need/want to do to keep busy. And now in my normal fashion, I'll share them with you and hope you'll hold me accountable!

1. Figure out where to put all the new furniture from Colorado. Figure out what to do with all my furniture that is getting replaced.
2. Finish weeding the flower bed in front of the new swing. Flatten out dirt there and make an extended stone patio to ease swinging.
3. Ride My horse at least 2 times a week.
4. Get a new hitch installed on truck so I can haul my horse up to the barn in cruddy weather.
5. Plan daughters bday party. Any ideas for a scrap booking party for kids who might not like to scrapbook as much as my daughter does?
6. Haul bad hay mess left by a friend to compost pile. (This will be a solid days work)
7. Lose at least 10 pounds in 2 months. (I have no idea what is realistic in the weight loss department. Is 10 to little or to much to think I can lose in that time frame?)
8. Pick up Hubs truck at the base.
9. Buy hay. Good cheap hay and get our other horse on some sort of Senior feed.
   
10. Sell the Mini Van. Apparently these things don't sell themselves.
    
11. Get son all the way on the GFCF diet. Gotta get that in place while Hub is gone.
12. Possibly move all my crafting stuff to basement and arrange it all nicely. (This would free up some room for new bedroom furniture)

Anyhow, that's the tip of the iceburg. There is still a big ticket item that needs attention from my Doc and his buddies at the Army Medical Hospital. Keep all those good vibes coming, as mom would say.....:)

Babies Babies Babies

Seems like everyone around me is pregnant, has a new born or is expecting in one fashion or another. Everyone....with the exception of everyone, including me, that is not pregnant. (ho hum)

I am a new Auntie to a little cute as a (insert my last name) baby girl named Caroline. She's in Texas and is Hubs Bro's little baby. Maybe. Don't get confused okay?

Next, My sis is adopting little cutie patotie Ella from China in October. Can't wait to go meet her either.

Then theres a great friend from HS who just had her daughter Natalie in July. Now this kid is seriously C.U.T.E. So cute it makes me ache. (Ho hum)

Then to top it all off, I visit Yogurt and Granola almost daily to drool over baby Amelia.

Me? Seems like I want another right? Well my factory was closed down during my C Section 4 years ago. (Ho hum) (sigh) (cry) (pity party) (smacks self and says what were you thinking)

All things can change if you're in the right mindset.

I'm off to find my mindset........

OMG OMG OMG

So, Big News.....

Last night for the first time in 4 years I got the go ahead from Hub to check into something MAJOR!!! To say that I am elated is a very large understatement. I'm walking on clouds.

It does come with some pre-work so to speak. I need to get back to a healthier weight. I need to stay relatively stress free and learn how to deal with stress better as a whole. I need to do some soul searching and see if really deep deep down inside this is what I want. And most importantly I need to keep my excitement in check because this is a long shot. On the good side, if plan A is impossible there are some other options.

Oh my GAWD, I'm thrilled.........


So this whole conversation started as a result of some soul searching on my part while I was away for a week. Lots of quiet and extra time really had my brain working over time. It was a great experience for me though. I came home refreshed. I had my goals at the front of my mind, and realized that they don't need to be non existent. It was a very very good, emotional week away. Plus, I gained a friend/bro in law too.

So, although I shared a bit here, this is all you get for now. MOM, don't even try. :)

LABOR day, seriously!

This weekend was spent constructing our new chicken coop. I am so pleased with Hubs work I can not even put it into words! Sure it's not perfect, but for me it is! Here is a photo play by play so to speak. Enjoy...






Oh, just so you know. I spent the day wasting my time attempting to can greens via a hot water bath instead of pressure canning. Silly me.....I just wasted my whole crop and about 4 hours worth of labor. Serious bummer!

It's a Crafty Blog

I haven't forgotten that this is suppose to be my crafty place. Well, maybe I did forget....

But I've created a new space for all the family fun/drama. If you dare, you can check it out here. As of this very moment it is empty though.

I have been being crafty, and to prove it to you I am prepared with proof. I have started crocheting again and can't believe that I ever stopped. Balancing this with Scrap booking will be my next challenge to navigate.


As promised here is the proof. It's a sampler 'ghan from an Easy book I bought for Grammy after she moved in. In the process of trying to talk her into giving it another go, I ended up starting one of my own, and she has given up. Ah well. At least I am rewarded with the re interest on my part.

Oye

Today I have learned a serious lesson in humility. I am so embarrassed. She was a bit on the bitch side though.....quite a bit actually.

But Alas, someone had to whip my ass into shape. Mine as well have been a stranger Lady that I can hate instead of a friend or family member.

Fly Lady here I come. Again.

Just a few hints

Here are some helpful hints for getting along with me. They are quite simple I think, but some have issues.....no names here.....

Do not Nag me. If I tell you I will, I will. I am exactly like my son is. Tell me the plan and then leave ample time available and do not rush me. DO NOT RUSH, PUSH, OR DRIVE ME BONKERS. These things will only serve to delay whatever it is you think you need. It's just how I'm wired.

I need to plan things, P.L.A.N. I have 3 calendars going at the same time. I need my calendars. Do not spring last minute things on me unless I have told you I am bored. Please. Specifically regarding travel arrangements.... I am a cheap skate. Do not make me wait for a fly date until prices for airfare are through the roof. I will decide to drive, and you will have to wait on me. I need a date, like tomorrow, so that I can have a little pricing party and figure out all the details. This is just how I am wired.

If you board you horse here on my property and your horse busts through a gate and gorges out on 3 bales of hay they broke open don't give me attitude for asking for help cleaning it up. Just don't. I don't care that you have out of town family here to visit. They will be here 12 days. Come and help me clean it up. AND, for the love of GAWD, if we make arrangements on when we will clean it up do NOT show up when you know I will not be here and do it all yourself the wrong way. This is my place, my hay layout, my horses that you double fed while you were here......Keep your word, call and make sure I am here first. You put a HUGE gaping hole in my day.

Lastly. Beware of Churches that say "adventure" in the title. Holy crap, that was an adventure and I've had my fill!

Thanks for the vent!!

Been busy, I promise

Here's proof:


*On the plane to Colorado at 5:30 am*

*It was 104 degrees on this day. I can't believe I let Hub take this picture*

*This was SO MUCH fun! Even the boy did it once!*

*Grammy on her last lunch outing with her friends* sad.

*Shucking peas fresh from the garden*

Updates

Hi all. Look what I got yesterday......free. Free. FREE. That's my new favorite word. Well, aside from my son new trend in telling me he loves me every 2 minutes. That's really my favorite.

Here's a brief update of life in these parts.

The farrier, (the guy who trims horse hooves) went ill, and it's serious. I'm unable to find another farrier that the wild guy will tolerate, so I'm going to figure out how to do that myself. That has sparked interest from Hub on something for income after his retirement. He suggests a husband wife thing, I prefer the training side of things which leads me to the next topic...

The horse trainer had a freak horse related accident and has a major concussion and is not allowed to ride for 3 months. Concussion plus broken clavicle and a few cracked ribs. She feels like she's on hells door step, poor little thing. She's skinnier than the glass panel in my french door. :)

So this leaves me with no farrier, and no trainer. Guess who it leaves me with? ME. All me from now on. This could get very very interesting!

We have 2 out of town trips planned soon. One this weekend and the Hub gets home right in time to pack our bags and catch a plane to visit his Grandma in the scorching heat. Have I ever told you how much I hate being to hot? Anyhow, I'm excited to go see her. After that it's back home to enjoy some camping and horse time before it's back to sea for the hub.

I've also managed to get 4 pages in the scrapbook done, that's always so rewarding!

Enough blah blah....hope you are all well and enjoying Summer!

Fab new idea

I have this fabulous new idea for a crafty item for kids. It would serve as a life saver for dining out. No one has thought of it, as far as I can tell. No one has one for sale on Ebay, Etsy or Craigslist. I want to make a prototype, but have no idea how to protect the idea or how to start the marketing process if it turns out well. Shoot, WHEN it turns out well. (I'm doing this whole positive thinking thing now) Can anyone point me in the right direction, at least give me a clue to the first baby step to take? I don't want anyone stealing my idea......:)


On a seperate issue. Way back when in 2002, my Cocker Spaniel was shot by a couple of kids out on a joy ride with a stolen car. They shot out some windows and decided to shoot my dog....jerks. Anyway, they went to court and were found guilty and ordered to pay restitution. One of them has paid, I thought it was paid off. Today I got another restitution check in the mail which prompted me to call and inquire. Turns out that this gal involved stopped paying and just restarted and still owes nearly 200 to me. They also mentioned that the juvenile arrested and charged with animal cruelty owes me $2000 and a warrant has been issued for non payment. Interesting. Very very interesting.

By the way, the dog lived, thanks to a nice vet and surgery. The vet bill was enormous but worth every penny.

Not sure why I am telling you all about this, but hey......

Here I sit.....alone....

Alright Peeps. It has come to an end. Hub is on the plane to go wait for the ship. It will just be the kids and I, occasionally Grandpa, and hopefully Oma sometimes too, for the next month.

Right now, as I type this, I have no clue what to do, where to start etc. I have been out of my routine for 3+ months now and it feels really okward. At first I planned to weed outside and play with the horses a bit while the boy was at school this morning. It's raining, so that nixes that idea. Then I was going to go out and renew my Drivers License, but hey- I've got 2 more months to get that done, why rush it. Then I thought about going shopping but I don't really need anything so I decided to stay put in the house. Then I thought about cleaning, so I sat down with you instead. You'll help me ignore this mess won't you? Aww....I knew you were true friends! :)

The boy has an appt with his PCM up in Seattle today for a (waste of time) gosh, I don't know why we are going. I have no idea what I want/expect him to do. I made the appt to get a referral to explore the boy's Autism in more depth but I have a feeling I'm running myself into a medical brick wall. There ARE interventions that I want explored, but those come from "unconventional" methods, and insurance wants to know nothing about it. I'm specifically looking for a DAN doctor (Defeat Autism NOW doctor) they are hard to find, and expensive as all get out especially when insurance wants no part in it.

I did find him a doctor here locally, she's a DAN doctor and I can self pay. No referral needed. But then I think about the reassurance the PCM provides and how he made all this mush in my brain grasp the autism as a fact. He gets me. And I love him. I love him in the way that I would never dream about taking the kids or I to a military doctor ever again. Anyway- back on subject. I could go to Seattle, and have him say I can't refer you. Or he could refer me to another doctor whom I don't want my son to see and have my time wasted again. Or I could just call and say never mind, which makes me not get to see my favorite doc for awhile.

It just hit me. I'll take him to the DAN doctor first, and then I'll haul him up to Seattle to do the testing and get insurance to pay for it back door style. That sounds appealing!! I love it when I chat on here and I answer my own issues. Perfect. Let me make the call.

Calling......(I'm on hold)

Perfect! Well my schedule just busted wide open. Now what should I do.....ugh, the dishes are about to get up and walk out of here, maybe they are first on the list.

bye peeps, thanks for making it all clear!

He's still here.......

Sir,

I've heard your a good guy, and therefore I feel like I can safely write this email without repercussions for my husband. I do realize that this situation is not your fault and I don't mean to project that at all.

With all due respect Sir, what the hell is going on? It seems as though no one has any regard for proper notice or has any skill what so ever to secure an airline ticket. These things should not be anywhere as difficult to accomplish as the training office is making it out to be.

While the guys on the boat are keeping my husband in limbo from hell, I am at home with 2 small kids, one who is Autistic and they have no idea if Daddy is coming or going. We have canceled major weekend plans, held an every hour email check. I mean we've essentially been held captive in our home pending an email, which doesn't come, or when it does it's not even paid for. My husband woke and drove over a hour to the airport to find that someone again has dropped the ball. Speaking of which the ticket for tomorrows travel is still not funded.

Please, find the end to this endless string along. I know that you need him back. I know that it's been a hardship having him gone for 3 months. It's been a hardship having him home 24/7 for 3 months too. LOL. This whole situation is causing undue stress for our family, and there is such a better way to handle it all.

Again sir please find this email not as a personal attack, just from a wife that has reached her max and needed to vent some steam.

Thank you for your time.

Hey listen, this post is going to be horribly whiny and gross. I'm being such a wimp right now that I can barely stand it, but it's 1am. There no one else to vent too. I guess you drew the short straw.

I know that my certain little area of heartache and grief as a Military wife are not even close to the situations of others. I have always said that there are others far worse off than I, and I do remember that as I type out all my tears here tonight. I'm lucky. I know that. When stuff happens as it's never happened before and there is no rhyme or reason sometimes it just turns the knife and makes it seem unbearable for a quick cry and a brief pull your shit together talk to your inner most core. I'll get over it. I have no other option.

See, the Hub has been home with a broken leg. He's been home for 3 months. Constant contact 24/7 for 3 months. His ship is out testing for future deployments and he is not on it. He is here. We were given a date of when he would fly out to the boat. That date was a few weeks away. Today, just about 3 hours ago it was moved up to less than 48 hours and he flies out. We have out of town plans that now have to be canceled, kids hearts to break and a wife who at this very moment feels horribly unprepared.

I knew he was going to have to go, heck after all the 24/7 the last few months I was kinda looking forward to it. We had a date, a plan. We haven't breathed a word of this to the kids because it was still pretty far away. and what pisses me off the most is that he is being flown down there to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING except wait for the boat in another location away from his family. FUCKING STUPID. I'm losing all my manners and I really am sorry about all that, but I am just so sick and tired of having to hear my kids go through this grief process. and how the hell do you say in the morning that Dad has to go back to the boat tomorrow? How can I look them in the eye and give them NO WARNING? I can't do it. Except for the fact that I have to do it. I have no choice. None. zero. I have no control.

My daughter asked me the other day on the way home from school if she was going to stay in the same school this year instead of moving. She's been to 3 schools, she's in 2nd grade. It's horrible. I feel guilty that she has to wonder about those things.

4 more years, 3 if I want to distort the image a bit in my head. Sometimes that helps. Daughter will be 10, son will be 6 and I never, ever want to move again.

Military has it's perks. Good perks. I just wish the unknown was more predictable. I HATE losing control, HA like I had any in the first place........I especially hate 48 hour notices when they've had 3 fucking months to plan for this.

So anyway- I'm here crying at the computer because I can't cry up in bed, and I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. It's gonna be an all niter with a side of crying headache in the morning. I can't talk to the hub cause that would just turn this facial facet to pour and he's got enough going on to worry about my little emotional blah. He's just happy to go back to work. I can understand that.

This post might not see the light of day. It's embarrassing. but hey, you're a good ear and a strong shoulder. Thanks.

Full speed Ah...e....a......d......

Can't afford gas. Can't afford to go visit/camp/travel etc. It's depressing. This is the first week it has been over $4.09 a gallon, and I just can't do it. I can't do it without vomiting, that is, so therefore I stay away.

I have a 1/3 of a tank, and it needs to last me until January. LOL. I wonder if the new guy can fix it in the first 100 days? I bet not, but anything that gets shaved off I will be grateful for.

Until then, we are home bodies. Oh well.