*Neither of these ladies are me, nor is this my Hubs ship.*Early this morning my Husbands ship left Bremerton for 6 months. At least 6 months. I didn't cry, I got a little grumpy toward the last day, but no tears. I'm a little bummed, but not sad. Not depressed either. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, or overwhelmed with all of our "stuff" riding on my shoulders. I'm not questioning how we'll make it, or what if this or what if that. I'm not worried, about anything.
Well I wasn't. I got a call from a wife of one of the hubs people today around noon. After answering, she immediately asked how I was doing. I told her what I always tell everyone, a habit I guess; "I'm good....How are you?" She was surprised and questioned me again. "Yes, really, I'm just fine......" Then I thought to ask why....
Apparently there is a family support group melt down in progress. Some wives are not taking this in stride. They've called an emergency "social hour" to get together and co-grieve. ugh. Really? She asked me specifically if I would go, and I agreed. blah blah buddy system, blah blah support group, blah blah blah....
I'm going, because I told her I would. BUT- I'm just not sure this is for me. I went through the Oh my God what and I going to do without you phase when I was a young new wife. I cried about everything, worried myself sick, and became depressed. I've been there, and I know for certain it's not the end of the world now.......I've got my big girl pants on.
I do not in any way mean to sound condescending. I truly know what it's like to be in that position. The question is, since I'm in "recovery", do I want to go back and help others that are not as....hum.....okay as me. I do not want to be sucked in, or drained out. And I could possibly risk sounding rude, because the fact is that they are in the Navy, which means we are too. So....deal with it.
I took a shower after I got off the phone and was questioning myself on why I wasn't more on the emotional side of this. Why am I not torn up, or mopey? Then it hit me, I've graduated. I am out of that phase for good. Doesn't mean I won't have bad days and good days. But I know it won't be anything I can't handle on my own. I'll be alright.
And really, August isn't that far away......
wish me luck!
