*Neither of these ladies are me, nor is this my Hubs ship.*Early this morning my Husbands ship left Bremerton for 6 months. At least 6 months. I didn't cry, I got a little grumpy toward the last day, but no tears. I'm a little bummed, but not sad. Not depressed either. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, or overwhelmed with all of our "stuff" riding on my shoulders. I'm not questioning how we'll make it, or what if this or what if that. I'm not worried, about anything.
Well I wasn't. I got a call from a wife of one of the hubs people today around noon. After answering, she immediately asked how I was doing. I told her what I always tell everyone, a habit I guess; "I'm good....How are you?" She was surprised and questioned me again. "Yes, really, I'm just fine......" Then I thought to ask why....
Apparently there is a family support group melt down in progress. Some wives are not taking this in stride. They've called an emergency "social hour" to get together and co-grieve. ugh. Really? She asked me specifically if I would go, and I agreed. blah blah buddy system, blah blah support group, blah blah blah....
I'm going, because I told her I would. BUT- I'm just not sure this is for me. I went through the Oh my God what and I going to do without you phase when I was a young new wife. I cried about everything, worried myself sick, and became depressed. I've been there, and I know for certain it's not the end of the world now.......I've got my big girl pants on.
I do not in any way mean to sound condescending. I truly know what it's like to be in that position. The question is, since I'm in "recovery", do I want to go back and help others that are not as....hum.....okay as me. I do not want to be sucked in, or drained out. And I could possibly risk sounding rude, because the fact is that they are in the Navy, which means we are too. So....deal with it.
I took a shower after I got off the phone and was questioning myself on why I wasn't more on the emotional side of this. Why am I not torn up, or mopey? Then it hit me, I've graduated. I am out of that phase for good. Doesn't mean I won't have bad days and good days. But I know it won't be anything I can't handle on my own. I'll be alright.
And really, August isn't that far away......
wish me luck!
4 comments:
I would go with your gut and not go... because you are easily sucked into other people's drama. Maybe you could give them the "put your big girl panties on" speech, then leave!
Have you made your list yet? Gardening is just around the corner, and there's horse riding, and kids activities, and a bunch of other good stuff to look forward to.
Hugs.
Yes you have graduated. Speaking on a much smaller scale, my hubby is not home all week and sometimes away for a few months at a time...I used to get all emotional but now I use it as an opportunity to transform a room in the house for his surprise homecoming or in many cases I was able to diet better as we weren't eating out so much. I plan now for something to surprise him big time when he comes home. I think you are right in maybe just staying clear...maybe there is a group for "graduate" women like you or maybe you could start one. You go, girl!!! Prayers for his safe return also!
Christy- I found this post from your Mom and she has every right to be proud of you! Maybe it's time, experience or just the fact that you know yourself better now, but I think you sound very capable! Sure there will be tough days and times you wish it was already August, but
won't you also feel satisfaction in knowing you and the kids are doing just fine?
I only experienced one 6 month separation but am a busy and active person so life kept me moving forward for the most part ( and that was before kids!)
I will be sending good thoughts your way and hopes that the time goes quickly with as few "hiccups" as possible! Bramble
Hey Christy! You've been there, done that and have the t-shirt. No need to rehash the subject. I'm sure you'll do great while the hub's away and I hope all goes well for the hub.
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