Bye Bye Baby......

Today was the dreaded day peeps. The Hub is on his way to the ship which is in well....(insert one top secret location here). He travels commercial to DC and then on to Norfolk for the night. Tomorrow he gets on a military flight headed for "not safe" land for an undisclosed amount of time before they fly him out to the ship. It's this leg of the trip that scares the bejesus outta me. A possible hotel stay out in town is enough to stock me up with anxiety attacks to last a life time!

Yesterday everything hit me. I know that the kids reactions are going to play off of my reaction to him being gone. I *tried* so hard to hold in all the tears. A few times I just couldn't pull them in fast enough and had to run for cover. I hope that Hub knows that the distance I unintentionally put between us was not his fault, I just couldn't look at him and hold it together.

So it's the kiddos and I, plus one Dad in law for the next several months. We can make it work. I know that I am a stronger person than I was the last time he deployed. I feel like a bit of a veteran now. I still wonder if this gets any easier though. I can't imagine electing to stay in another 15 years, to retire at 30 years total, and keep doing this and putting the kids through this...... It must get easier right??

One thing I know for sure is Hub loves serving his country! No matter what our personal views are about the direction right now. I know that he takes pride in doing his part. I am so amazingly proud of him, and I know that the kids will understand someday.

I have a personal list of things to do while he is gone. I'd like to loose at least 20 pounds, which is only the tip of the ice burg! I'd also like to finish up the wool rug I started forever ago. I have planned on keeping a "normal" summer schedule for the kids too. A few trips to Omas, and maybe 2 camping trips with some friends. One thing that helped so much last deployment was my personal journal which will be started tonight. I find it amazing how much writing can take all the stress away.

And another thing.....All these problems that Hub and I have had lately. Gone. I was releaved the other night when I was chit chatting with him and it hit me. I hadn't thought about the hurt in several weeks. I think that now that we are away from the situation, and we were able to have so many weeks together it really put it into perspective. I'm very thankful for that!

So there ya have it. I hope that you're up to hearing more from me cause I know that I'll need the Bloggerville support too! You all rock!