Stuff.....lots of it!

Good Monday Morning! Hope y'all survived the weekend in one piece. I made it, thank goodness! The weekends are the hardest part so far!

I have several things to say today, and several questions to ask, PLUS a to do list a mile long...please bear with me.

First, Lets all get together and convince my Sis that Blogger is a cool place to be. That lots of people blog and it's a good place to share news. Her name on here will remain Sis, so HEY SIS! JOIN THE FUN!!!

On to serious business now folks, and this is disgusting to the 100th degree! There are gnats in my kitchen and no matter what I do they are still there. I have polished the entire freaking kitchen, checked for bad food in the pantry, I have also put a glass of vinegar on the counter over night like a friend suggested. Nothing has helped. I am losing my mind here folks....I don't know what to do. Today I am going to run some bleach through the pipes in the sink to see if I can get some hiding in there. Otherwise my handy dandy bottle of Windex has been alright at killing them mid air. Any other ideas??

So now that you think my kitchen is disgusting. Lets move on. I am alive!! I am making it as a "one parent show" granted it's still hard, but I'm adapting. My daughter has taken to pushing every single button to get what she wants, and that is no easy fix. I have to figure that out too. She's not a bad kid by any means, but there are times I don't even recognize her any more. Any ideas on 6 year old attitude problems?

Hub made it to the boat safely and in one piece. Whew! His stay in No no land was a lot shorter than I expected. Thank the good Lord for that!! Now we start crossing off days til he gets home. Gosh I hope that flies by!

So minus the gnat problem and the single mother lack of time syndrome I have a to do list a mile long. Stuff that I will just forget if not listed somewhere to keep me on task. Here is what I can think of right now.

1. Clean cat litter
2. sweep and mop
3. laundry
4. drive Hubs car, ugh
5. Clean off computer desk.
6. Finish wool rug
7. Make Fathers day crafts to mail to Hub.
8. Mail first box out to Hub.
9. Pack for weekend away
10. Make arrangements for horse care while we are gone.

Lets just stop there for now. k? If I get overwhelmed, nothing will get done, and that can not happen!

2 more quick things- Sue??? I miss you!! Come back!!! and last but not least. .... I am not losing weight, but my clothes are to big......very interesting!! Either way, I am excited and proud of myself!!

Have a great Monday!

Love Friday

I guess I have time to squeeze this in today! It's the first time I've joined in!!

1. Love the fact that Hub joined this deployment half way through!!

2. Love that I can call my Mom when I'm lonely!

3. Love that I have my daughter to cry with!!

4. Love that I am meeting other military wives in Blog land that have been there before too!

5. Love that my daughter is reading this over my shoulder!

6. LOVE LOVE LOVE my brave military man!!!

Whoa!!

I am so shocked! Peeps!! I have lost 8 pounds!! Yea! I must give credit to a new medicine I am on to balance out the hormones, but I am still quite proud of myself! I haven't been snacking between meals and I am eating less at meal time too! Good for me! I'll keep you posted on the subject, the road to 20 doesn't seem so far away now!

On another note. I was so surprised to know that Hubs cell phone works in no-no land. We had a nice talk today which was nice! After we got off the phone I decided to call the carrier and make sure we weren't paying an outrageous amount each call. Um, yeah....it's $2.50 a minute!! Can you believe that. I called him back quickly and let him know I'd be mailing out an international phone card as soon as he got his address. YIKES!! It was worth it for the surprise phone call though. No doubt about that!!

Today has been an easier day so far. The normal week routine is helping quite a bit I suspect. Maybe I just need to schedule the weekends full of fun stuff to keep those moving! When school gets out I am sure it will be another story. Everyday closer to second grade is a day closer to him returning!

I did a bit of crocheting today. The wool rug seems to be taking forever. I do have more time during the week when little man naps so maybe progress will pick up. I'd like to get involved with CAL Pals or something again, now that I have some free time to crochet. Is CAL Pals still around?

Alright- well there is my day so far. Not to shabby. I am hanging in there and staying strong. This gorgeous weather is a great pick me up too!!

Twitter help....please....

Who can help with this Twitter thing? I update on the page but it doesn't show on my Blog. I'm stumped!

Help is appreciated!

Day #2

Kinda sucks that Hub had to deploy the day before Mothers Day! That put a damper on my mood a bit in the morning I think. The kiddos surprised me with cards that he had helped them make on Friday. That was so sweet! I sang myself the "Happy Mothers Day to me" song (sung to the birthday song tune) and made my way through a difficult day.

He did call before he got onto the never ending flight to no-no land. I was very grateful for that, but knowing it was the last time I could hear his voice for quite awhile was torture. I didn't have anything specific to say, besides I miss you and love you, so there was a lot of empty space in the conversation. I just couldn't put the phone down and then I was in tears when boarding started.

I've been fine today as long as I was not at home. The moment I walked in the door from the barn I was in tears. I'm such a weenie! It's the silly little things that are making it hard. The laundry that had to be folded and put into his dresser. The after shave left on the counter in the bathroom. Silly things. ya know? Surely I have to toughen up at some point.

What makes me feel worse/guilty is the fact that we spent so much time fighting recently. Granted there were major things happening, but right now all those things seem so small compared to him being gone. Yep........this is crazy.

Alright......I hope you all had a great Mothers Day! Stay in touch ya hear?

Bye Bye Baby......

Today was the dreaded day peeps. The Hub is on his way to the ship which is in well....(insert one top secret location here). He travels commercial to DC and then on to Norfolk for the night. Tomorrow he gets on a military flight headed for "not safe" land for an undisclosed amount of time before they fly him out to the ship. It's this leg of the trip that scares the bejesus outta me. A possible hotel stay out in town is enough to stock me up with anxiety attacks to last a life time!

Yesterday everything hit me. I know that the kids reactions are going to play off of my reaction to him being gone. I *tried* so hard to hold in all the tears. A few times I just couldn't pull them in fast enough and had to run for cover. I hope that Hub knows that the distance I unintentionally put between us was not his fault, I just couldn't look at him and hold it together.

So it's the kiddos and I, plus one Dad in law for the next several months. We can make it work. I know that I am a stronger person than I was the last time he deployed. I feel like a bit of a veteran now. I still wonder if this gets any easier though. I can't imagine electing to stay in another 15 years, to retire at 30 years total, and keep doing this and putting the kids through this...... It must get easier right??

One thing I know for sure is Hub loves serving his country! No matter what our personal views are about the direction right now. I know that he takes pride in doing his part. I am so amazingly proud of him, and I know that the kids will understand someday.

I have a personal list of things to do while he is gone. I'd like to loose at least 20 pounds, which is only the tip of the ice burg! I'd also like to finish up the wool rug I started forever ago. I have planned on keeping a "normal" summer schedule for the kids too. A few trips to Omas, and maybe 2 camping trips with some friends. One thing that helped so much last deployment was my personal journal which will be started tonight. I find it amazing how much writing can take all the stress away.

And another thing.....All these problems that Hub and I have had lately. Gone. I was releaved the other night when I was chit chatting with him and it hit me. I hadn't thought about the hurt in several weeks. I think that now that we are away from the situation, and we were able to have so many weeks together it really put it into perspective. I'm very thankful for that!

So there ya have it. I hope that you're up to hearing more from me cause I know that I'll need the Bloggerville support too! You all rock!

A date

Hubby got a date for his departure today from the ship. He is flying out Saturday and will be on the ship no later than mid week. I'm sad to know that it is so soon but I am incredibly grateful to have him home the rest of the week. We will miss him terribly, but God willing, come September he will be home.

I've not been ignoring you all, but supremely busy getting physically and mentally prepared. There was a chore list a mile long to get done, and errands to run etc. Plus, it's hard to sit at the computer when you'd rather be in the arms of your man!

So- I'll be back soon. I'll be doing a tag from Sue, and I will also fill you in on all the happenings around here!!

Menu Plan Monday #2

Here we go again Peeps! I managed to *mostly* stick to the menu last week. Wonderful Hub pitched in when he was needed in the kitchen too! Thanks!

This weeks menu is as follows:

Monday: BLT's with couscous.
Tuesday: Spaghetti, salad and Texas Toast!
Wednesday: Chicken Viola! (My easy day!)
Thursday: Tuna casserole
Friday: Left overs
Saturday: Grilled Pork chops, mashed potatoes and corn.
Sunday: Mom's day off!

So there ya have it!

Just so you're not all worried about me......I have been being a bit crafty. I have been making some slow progress in my scrapbooks and in the wool rug I am working on. We have been super busy outside enjoying the weather and getting quite a bit of yard stuff done. It feels good to be out all day, but when I come in I am exhausted!! The inside of the house sure looks like it too! I'll have to spend some time inside soon to play catch up!!

Hope you are all having a Happy Monday!

My dog hates.....

The camera!

How hard can it be to get a good pic of this silly dog? Here's what I was able to get......




Jeez Jackson, I love ya but sit freaking still!! Oh well......

If Jax were to talk like Sue's dog, Happy, he would say "Oh S#&t! The camera! My least favorite!"

Real men build things........

Whew......here's a quick idea of what we have been up to the last few days. I'll go into more detail later~
*Building new play set!*

*The finished Play Set!!! YAY!!!*

*Unintentional hind end shot, sorry Hub!
Here's where my new garden will be!!*

Menu Plan Monday

Where have I been you ask? Well don't ask.... It's been hugely stressful and I've promised myself that I am going to make 100% effort to get over it. Here I am, getting over it :)

Here is a new thing I've decided to try. Menu Plan Monday. I need to be more organized and budget minded. I thought this would be a great way to start, and also a great way to start a grocery list! If you'd like to join in please do. I'd love to see what is cooking in your kitchen!

Monday: Tacos with Spanish rice.
Tuesday: Chicken Pot Pie
Wednesday: Crock Pot Southwestern Pork. Recipe from Sue**
Thursday:Left overs
Friday: Grilled steaks with baked potatoes and salad. (weather permitting!)
Saturday: BLT's
Sunday: Hubby cooks!! ( hope you don't mind, dear!)

** Um, Sue? Would you mind re-emailing the South western pork recipe? I thought I still had it in my email, but I was sadly mistaken. Thanks so much!

On to other Junk. I had not picked up the hook in several weeks and my wool rug was starting to get offended. I decided "what the heck" and remembered that crocheting was what kept my little fingers busy and away from the cigs. I guess since that old habit has reared it's ugly head again I need pay more attention to crocheting!! The astronomical stress level hasn't helped in that department either.

Mental notes to self:
1. All I can be is the best me I can be.
2. Must make time to crochet.
3. Stress causes ulcers and mental breakdowns. We don't need to go there.
4. Keep looking forward.
5. Hug hubby. He deserves it!!

Spring?

Geez, folks. Yesterday it was snowing and today it looks like the middle of Spring! I think someone is confused!

I am welcoming the weather with a big wide smile and some internet research. You see, a nice sunny day is a great chance to give your horse her first bath; even if that thought scares the bajesus out of you.

You see, Sara, is scared of the hose. We have worked on this fear a bit trying to convince her that it is not the snake that it appears to be. She has a mind of her own however and now we must get more creative.

We have a bath stall at the barn that you can bathe in, well your horse can bathe in LOL. There is an issue with that too, which adds to the first bath anxiety. Confined spaces make it easy for her to smash me and create havoc, though I'm not as worried about that as I am in looking like a fool.

I've done some research. I found this very helpful information. I think that I will just see what she lets me do, and maybe push just a bit farther. She is ridiculously caked in mud, and sure could use a full bath though.

Maybe that little sweetheart will just let me do it. We'll see. I'll try to take some pics of myself for you. You should get a good laugh from them later!!

Wish me luck!!

Top of the morning to ya

**Cute pictures make to do lists easier on the eyes**

Not that I am over whelmed or anything but here is what my to-do list says. Oye.....

1.Cut dogs hair/bath
2. Cut Sons hair
3. Dishes
4. Laundry
5. Vacuum
6. Send deposits for gals summer camps.
7. Bring all books up and organize on book shelfs
8. Figure out something for din din.
9. Sit down with calendar and figure out next few months plans.
10. Buy or create plans for outdoor play structure.
11. Finish painting hall way.
12. Organize scrap booking stuff for trip.
13. Make Hay plans (as of noon they are half way made)

So the list goes on, but I'll leave it there for now.

I'll start with the regular house tending things and see what "flows" after that. I might just "flow" "myself right into my favorite crochet spot......

Happy Tuesday to you all!!

Lots-o-good News!

Hi Peeps! First, I extend my arms out for a huge group hug with all of you well wishers out there. I greatly appreciate all your kind words and encouragement. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Next, I am so happy to report that I am feeling better. I would even stretch to say that We are feeling better. Everyone take a big sigh of relief at once. W...H...E...W! I don't know what I was thinking to think that life was a cake walk.(JK I've never thought that) It is true that the tough times make the good ones better.

We had a serious family weekend. No one-on-one dates or time away. We just chilled out as a family. I even caught a glimpse of Hubs fantastic sense of humor on the way to the barn yesterday. That was priceless to me. We have a great little clan and I am so grateful that we can get through the mud and gunk together!

Here is a picture of us taken 3 years ago when Hubby was getting ready to deploy. Aren't we cute?!?

Next on the good news list is that I finally bit the bullet and brought all my scrap booking stuff upstairs and actually got some serious repair/redo's done. That's a huge relief too! I lost my sacred scrapping spot down stairs when the FIL moved here in November and I have been missing it terribly. Thankfully, after about 5 or 7 trips up and down the stairs I had it all (well, the necessary) stuff up. Now I just need an out of the way place to store it up here so the kiddos don't become curious.

Hum what else? Guess that's all for now. Hope y'all had a good weekend too!

Successful

Merriam-Websters Dictionary defines Successful in the following way:

Main Entry:

suc·cess·ful

Pronunciation:

\-fəl\

Function:

adjective

Date:

1588

1 : resulting or terminating in success successful attempt>
2 : gaining or having gained success successful investor>

— suc·cess·ful·ly \-fə-lē\ adverb

— suc·cess·ful·ness noun

Today, I can only define success as something I am not. Isn't that crappy? It's a shame really. Previously in my life I have had some success. I graduated from Basic Training in the Air Force, which no one expected I could, or would do. I graduated from Tech school for the Air Force at nearly the top of my class. Both of these accomplishments are and were great emotional highs for me. I was able to prove a lot of nay sayers (including myself) wrong. I was good at something.

In a way I miss those days. I miss being requested by doctors to assist in surgeries, requested before higher ranking medics. The docs all recognized a success in me somewhere. They asked for me by name, a little E-3 pee-on over an E-5or E-7. That's huge in the military. I'm really proud of that.

I chose a relationship over those feelings because at the time the relationship felt incredibly successful. I had other goals I wanted to reach too. I wanted to be a mom and a wife and have a nice cozy family to call my own. I left the Air Force to be able to stay with my family. At the time it was a great decision. I still feel like it was the right decision. However, now I do not feel successful.

When I look closely at who I am, I can not over look the fact that I am a mess. I am an emotional mess, a physical mess, and in general just a messy person. None of these are purposeful qualities obviously. They are within me and they project into everything I touch.

Presently I am in the relationship I left the military for. Success? After 8 years I would say so. I am a Mom to the worlds cutest 2 kiddos. A success? For sure! Put them all together and call it a success? I'm not so sure.

I don't juggle well, and that is an understatement. I can not seem to hold onto two things at once and make them both reach their maximum potential at the same time. I try like hell, but always end up dropping one. This is why I bounce around so much. I get tired of playing Mommy all day (not being a Mom, just the variety that stay home all day) so I get a job. I do great at the job for awhile and then start missing being a home Mommy so I quit and return to the nest. This pattern has repeated it's self several times, over and over. The solution obviously is to pick one and stick with it. Well, I've done that. Which brings me to the next issue on success.

I've chosen to be an at home Mom. I do love it, and I cherish the time and opportunities that my Mom didn't have. I love being able to go on field trips with my daughters class. I am very fortunate to be able to be here for the Speech therapist when she comes to work with my son.
One hard fact is that this job I have does not project success. No matter what you do, how you do it, or the quality you feel about the job, it doesn't scream success.

In a way I feel success through my husband. He is a top notch, go to guy at work. If it needs to be done, he's there and accomplishes his missions with incredible success. He has the respect of nearly everyone in his division and he knows he is the thread that holds it all together. That is incredibly attractive to me. I live a career womans life through his eyes. Only he is the one really making it happen.

So what is a hard working, incredibly successful guy attracted to? Surely not the woman he returns home too who is exhausted after cleaning up the same mess every ten minutes, or the woman who has been so busy that day that she hasn't had time for a shower (sometimes in more than 2 days, eeewww, I know!) He returns home to a mess. Me. This house. This relationship. All of it messy.

Add to the mix a very successful woman at the same job. She must be a professional juggler. She is a single mom, a go to gal herself. She has her shit together. She has lost weight he says. She is his friend. She is the package deal. He would rather have a conversation with her. Would rather hear about her day. In the back of his mind I wouldn't doubt that somedays he wishes she was the one to return home too.

Guess what that does to the the fire at home? Picture sitting by a camp fire that is burning strong, you feel worm and peaceful. Now dump a pail of water over it and stir it up. What do ya have now? A big pile of what used to be something beautiful. Then decide you want to rebuild the fire because you miss it terribly. Except, you just drowned it, everything is wet, nothing will burn. You have no fire, and nothing to rebuild with.

Thats how I feel. I feel like the under dog to a situation that I have had a hand in creating. I am a smothered fire, sometimes you see a spark, but it's not enough. And what's worse is the fact that I can't blame her. (GOD I hate that) because she is everything I am not.....

She is successful.

A completion, and progress

Ahem....

Crafty Christy Proudly Presents......

A completed Item.

No kidding!

Okay- seriously, here it is. I finished something. (Thanks for the applause!)

The other day Son and I were in the craft store looking at yarn. He was being a great boy, staying right by my side until out of the corner of his eye he saw a Diego fabric. A Diego fabric with a ball on it to boot! He asked in his own little way for the fabric and since I am always adding to the pile o fabric I have I said sure.

Fast forward to last week when a friend and I made a day of thrift shopping. I found a great flat sheet with dinos on it. I knew it would be perfect for something, but I wasn't sure what. Then it hit me.

A blanket!

It's reversible, and instead of using binding, I just turned the edges under. I tied it with Red yarn and viola! It's done. Now that it's done, of course, son wants nothing to do with it. Figures.



In the progress made category we have the wool rug I mentioned in an earlier post. It's coming along nicely. I did make a boo- boo somewhere though. I can't figure it out, and I don't feel like pulling it out to an unknown point. It's just going to get walked on in the kitchen anyway. It doesn't need to be perfect. (Did I just say that?!?)


So there ya have it. Progress. Whew!

More Ink....

My hub is addicted to ink lately. When I met him he had 5 tattoos. 2 months ago he had 5 tattoos. Last month he got another, and today he came home with this.......

#7

In the old Navy sailors got tattoos of swallows because when they returned from Sea seeing a swallow was a sign that land was near. The swallow signifies a homecoming. Sailors would get one tat of a swallow for 5,000 miles at sea and 2 tats for 10,000 miles. The nautical star represents the guiding star that led them home, because in the days of sailing ships sailors navigated by the stars.

*dictated to me by my inked up hub.*

Shucks

I thought for sure I'd win......

I might change my mind, but for now I need to blog about this to get it out of my head.

Horse boarding drama 101.

First I should state that I am experienced in this area, and I mean no judgments upon anyone. I know times get hard. I've been in the bottom of the barrel so to speak. Thank God we are beyond that point in our lives.

Here's the problem.

A couple weeks ago the Horse dentist was out to the barn. One particular Lady whom I know from past conversations isn't financially "available" wrote out a $600 plus check for her 3 horses. Today, 2 weeks+ later I get a call from the Dr's receptionist wanting me to contact her for them as her check has bounced and she won't return calls. Apparently I am not the first person they have called for help either.

Since it's been 2 weeks, the receptionist/bill collector wants me to pass along the message that she needs to call and pay or the check will be turned over to the police and they will put a lean on her horses.

I don't want to be involved. I don't want to have to tell her. I don't want her to loose her horses or go to jail either. Add the fact that she is a military wife which makes me want to help her more (by help I DO NOT mean financially) but also in the back of my mind I know how much her husband makes. It's easily double what Hub brings home. (gosh, thats sad)

I have a past very bad habit of taking on peoples problems as my own. I'll run myself off in a ditch trying to help someone whom would not blink an eye if it was me in trouble. (FIL for example). It's a horrible problem. In a way- I am feeling good about this situation right now because I have no desire to whip out my check book for her. I do however wish to beat her over the head with it and try to knock some sense into her.

Must separate myself from the problem and hopefully not the friend. Is that even possible? Probably not. Oye.

So there it is. The receptionist has called other women out there and left messages. I know others know what the problem is. I however, have no idea what they're talking about........right?

Saturday

I'm getting ready for a breakfast date with the gal, Denny's and then a haircut for both of us. I thought I'd post before I forget and the next thing I know it's Monday.

Here is one instance that the camera actually cooperated. Or maybe it was my son that cooperated finally. Which ever, THANK YOU. I snap a lot of pictures of him and none really stand out to me. I really like this one!